At the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh Advance-Titan, Tyler Maas imagines a date with Emily Dickinson.
Tyler arrives dressed in “Zubaz pants and vintage Green Bay Packers T-shirt”, and is burdened by a little too much knowledge about “the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles . . . [and] . . . BSB and N’Sync . . . [and] . . . [t]he XFL . . . [and] . . . Darva Conger . . . [and] . . . gigapets and tamigachis”, but he tries, goodness knows. He even lets her know that he thinks “her poem “My Life had stood – a Loaded Gun†is pretty badass.”
Alas, Tyler doesn’t consummate his love for Dickinson; “[t]here will be no kiss, no sweat-soaked linen or hearty pancake breakfast. No words shall weave a poem in my likeness nor kids bear my name.”
Not a bad little story for a slow Wednesday-before-Thanksgiving read . . .


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